Seating chart madness

Now that I'm a few weeks shy of our wedding I can honestly say that...the seating chart has been the most difficult thing I've had to get done. But difficult I mean...we can only have 8 people per table, but I found after several attempts that most tables will seat 8, a few with 7 and two tables of 9. Now I know I can be one less person per table not sure if I can add a person at the table, might be a tight squeeze. I need to call the reception hall tomorrow.Thank goodness for Kyra and all of her help tonight!!  All of this wedding stuff...while I know it will be a great time- LOTS of fun ,is very overrated. I can't wait to see both of our families, and friends all get together and celebrate with us. And I can say that in the last six months only the last few weeks (really 2 weeks) have been getting hectic. I just know I need to get the last few things REALLY done. Actually start moving my little butt to finish up the "little" things. I find that I write out "to do lists" and then I get about half done, and rewrite a new one for the following day just adding the left overs from the day before onto the new list. Im hoping by Wed. or Thur. I have all of the "little" things pretty much done. Wishful thinking on my part :) But maybe just maybe I can get it all done! Either way I've promised myself that the week before the wedding I will have 98% of the things for the wedding- done! I left myself 2% for odds & ends that might come up along the way.

1 full week home..

So its exactly one week that I've been home, visiting my family and what not- and I have def. been enjoying my time at home. I know that I love coming home to visit but I forget just how much I miss being home. I really never thought that I would be leaving for college and not coming back home to stay. I honestly didn't think that as I walked out my front door that it would the last time I fully lived home. It never really sunk in until this visit that I wont be coming back to NY to live. I think since most of my visits are for a long weekend I've never had the time to let it sink it. But you know something as I really think about it, I couldn't be more excited to start a new chapter in my life. Marry an amazing man, start our lives together, see the world, and live in new places. And even though Adam & I will be doing a lot of moving over the next few years, it really doesn't matter where we end up because well make it our home. First stop, Pensacola, FL!

TBS...

TBS might be coming to end- that's the training Adam's been in for just under 6 months, but today is the first night that he's in the field for his 9 day war. He's had other FEX's during TBS where we wont speak for a week because he's out in the field but for some reason knowing that this FEX is longer then the rest, makes it just a little harder. I know what  TBS intended to do, what the real purpose of the training is,. Still I can't help but think that it might have also been created for the spouses (and spouses to be). I say this because, during the course of TBS Adam has been going through different types of training, long days, weird hours, never gets secured when he thinks he will, and I never have any expectations as to when he will be "done" for the day. His weekends aren't always his own, with having to train on Saturday & Sundays at times, and studying as if we were back in college..Now, most of this stuff I can easily adjust to, and think I've adjusted pretty well overall (so far-and no doubts that I wont continue on this path). I say this because, when he's gone I miss him but I know that I can get through my day just fine. A good friend of mine Renae, told me to "count weekends" instead of counting the days that we wont see each other. By counting how many weekends until I see him, instead of thinking it may be two weeks until I see him (14 days) think of it like only two more weekends! Its silly things like that, that make my days easier. Working, and planning a wedding well that helps too. I think what TBS has really done for me has allowed me to get a small glimpse and feeling of what it will be like when Adam's on deployments. TBS is helping to prepare me for future deployments that I know he will have, it's inevitable. Anyone that thinks their spouse (whose active duty (AD) military) wont end up being deployed, is living in denial. Future deployments that I know Adam will have, have never really bothered me- well the idea of them anyway. Im honest to myself, to the realness of what a deployment means- not only for Adam but for us, as we start our own family. I know that I will be able to handle not speaking to Adam for long periods of time, if that's something we may face. I don't have to loveeee it but, I can handle it and I understand it. Having so much support from both of our families def. helps too!

If you don't have anything nice to say...

 Say nothing at all. Isn't that what most people were taught growing up? I know I was- so if we were taught this as children does it not apply for us as adults? I have noticed that adults seem to have less of a filter than most of the children I know. Since Adam & I have become engaged I have had more people look at me and say "Your getting married?, but how old are you? are you even old enough to get married"? Or "Your too young to get married", or how about the "Your only 23?" tonight I heard a good one from the women checking out my sister at Aldo's, my sister's buying shoes and were talking about my wedding with our mom-

the cashier responds: (without anyone asking her with a very classic) Ohh your getting married, how old are you? You look SOOO young.

Me: Hmmhmm 23. Can't wait!!!

Cashier: Ohh well what does your dress look like.

Me: It's very pretty. (Not wanting to make a fake conversation with someone who has already made it clear she thinks Im too young to be getting married)

Mom: Its beautiful, it looks like ____ ( will leave blank in case Adam reads this!)

Cahier: Awkward smile, well um I guess your lucky to have found someone who loves you (PAUSE- this would be nice and she could have redeemed herself but she continued speaking) at such a young age.

Me: I know Im lucky- thanks.

If you have nothing nice to say- say nothing at all. This was a stranger who I have never met and will never see again, but it was rude. And the funny thing is- is that I have had old friends that I run into and they say the same thing. I've even had someone ask me not once but twice how old I was- and this is someone I have known for lets see...6 years. That person actually said to me "I thought you were only 19". Well, if I graduated College, applying for Grad school and what not- It would be a little hard for me to be only 19. And needless to say this same person has made numerous comments implying that someone of my age shouldn't be getting married.

My feeling are, I am not you- if I don't judge you, please don't judge me. If I have not asked for your thoughts about my upcoming wedding, then don't give me advice, if you're unhappy in your own life please don't take your unhappiness out on me. I don't feel that I need to explain or justify why WE want to get married. But I will say this I'm so excited about my wedding, and even more than that I cannot wait to marry Adam and start our lives together.